HOW DID I GET HERE 不如歸去

Hong Kong, 2019

Happenings in our lives are not necessarily joyful the whole time. When a tragic happening-- losing a significant loved one to death, experiencing a traumatic failure in different aspects of life, comes in, the way our minds and bodies react differ. Some might find traces of the past manipulating their reaction along the way. Others, meanwhile, might just find themselves vulnerable most of the time. Forced or voluntary, a “journey” awaits.

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It was after I lost my father 10 years ago, mine started. Yet, it wasn’t until this year when my “second father”-- my uncle, committed suicide the same way my father did, the realization of such journey exists kicked in. Looking back, I noticed I’ve experienced a mental blackout of 10 years, during which I have had trouble locating and reconizing my own feelings and hurt others’ subconsciously. However soon after being awakened, I have come to notice others who experienced the same tragic event are as well stuck in their own “journeys” of similar pattern.

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This series of photos serves as an example of such journeys, and an attempt to answer the question, "How did I get here,” asked at different stages of the journey mentioned. It is one of the patterns I have noticed of the journeys. Repeatedly asking the question is another. Without including the model’s face, I am hoping the removal of identity would viably allow room for other mankind to find empathy and understanding from a faceless yet living body, let alone their tragic events are different.

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